Breathe With Me Read online

***

  “Why don’t we do this more often?” Jax asks as we sit and wait for my nails to dry. Our feet and hands are soft and rested.

  Well, our hands are soft. Our feet will never be soft again.

  “I’m tipping our pedicurists extra. No one should have to ever touch our feet.”

  “Good call,” he says and sighs contentedly. “Do we have ice cream at home?”

  “Yes. I think that’s all we have in the freezer right now.”

  When my pink nails are all dry, we set off to the apartment, drop our bags inside the doorway and race to the Blu-Ray player. Jax beats me by two steps.

  “Ha! Pitch Perfect it is!”

  “Just don’t sing along this time. For someone with such great rhythm, you are completely tone-deaf, my friend.”

  “I am not.”

  “Starla paid you extra to make you stop singing. You do the math.”

  I settle on the couch, flopped back in the cushions, my feet on the coffee table and hands folded over my belly as Jax heads to the kitchen for our dinner.

  “Ice cream,” he says with a grin and joins me on the couch with two pints and two spoons. “Dinner of champions. Do you want Chubby Hubby or Chunky Monkey?”

  “Yes.” I reach for the tub closest to me, take the spoon offered and press play on the remote. “We’ll switch when we’re halfway through.”

  “Jesus, this is a lot of calories.”

  “Calories don’t count on GGN. Besides, we’re working our asses off, literally, on Starla’s routine. You’re kicking my ass with this one.”

  “It’s good, though. It’ll be the best routine at the VMA’s.”

  “Obviously,” I reply and roll my eyes. “You’re the best there is, Jax.”

  “This is why I love you. You feed my ego.”

  I kick him and take a big bite of Chunky Monkey. When both containers are empty, we lie in sugar comas and watch the movie, cuddled up on the couch. Jax’s body is hard. Broad. Lean.

  He’s a hottie. I hope Logan isn’t going to try to screw him over. I’d have to kill him.

  Just as the movie ends and the credits begin to roll, Jax’s phone rings.

  “Is that Mr. Lovey Pants?”

  “Yeah.” He looks torn as he glances at me. “But it’s GGN.”

  “Answer it. I’ll call Mark and then we’ll snuggle up in my bed and sleep.”

  He grins and swipes his finger over the phone, answering, “Hey. Yeah, I’m still with Mer. We’ll be hanging out all night.”

  “Hi, Logan!” I call into the phone. Jax grins.

  “He says hi.”

  “I want to see a photo of you!” I yell.

  “Yeah, I’ll show her one when we get off the phone.”

  “You have photos and I haven’t seen them?”

  “Can I talk here?”

  I grin and walk into my room, giving Jax privacy as I call Mark.

  “What are you wearing?” he answers.

  “Just a smile, sexy man,” I reply and giggle.

  “Well put on some clothes. You’re hanging out with Jax, and even if he is gay, I’m not comfortable with you hanging out naked together.”

  “Well you’re no fun.” I giggle again and collapse back on the bed. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m painting the downstairs bathroom.”

  “So, you work construction all day and then go home and keep working?”

  “If you were here, I’d be working on something far more exciting.”

  “Yeah? What’s that?”

  “Well, it’s almost ten, so you’d be well on your way to your third orgasm by now.”

  “Damn Jax,” I murmur, making Mark laugh.

  “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow night.”

  “Yay me!”

  “I thought this was super secret gay girl time. What are you up to?” I can hear clanking in the background, and I picture him pouring more paint into a plastic pan.

  “Jax got a call from the guy he’s seeing, so I decided to take advantage of it and call you. I kind of miss you.”

  “Kind of?”

  “Just a little bit.”

  He chuckles and then I can hear him swallowing something. “I can come over later.”

  “It’s okay.” I sigh. “Jax and I are going to snuggle up in my bed and go to sleep.”

  The line gets quiet and I think I’ve lost him there for a minute.

  “M?”

  “You and Jax are going to snuggle up in your bed? All night?”

  “Um, yeah?” I phrase it as a question because I’m not entirely sure why he sounds suddenly jealous.

  “You’re sleeping in your bed with another man?”

  “With Jax,” I clarify. “Clothed. I was just kidding about the whole being naked thing. Sleeping. He snores. I’ll probably kick him out at some point.”

  “Now would be good.”

  I frown and bite my lip. “Jax and I have slept together—just slept—for ten years, M. It’s nothing new.”

  “It’s new to me.” He sighs and I can picture him rubbing his forehead in exasperation.

  “If it makes you this uncomfortable, we won’t.”

  “Why does my caveman come out full blast with you?” His voice is gritty and I grin. It’s sexy as hell.

  “I love you,” I whisper. “I will sleep alone tonight.”

  “This is my own issue, baby. Do what you’ve always done. I’m fine. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I want to say no. I want to say the only man who will ever share your bed again is me. But that’s irrational. If Jax was a woman, I wouldn’t care.”

  “Let’s snuggle,” Jax announces as he barges into my bedroom. “But I’m not staying. Logan says he’s staking a claim on sleeping privileges.”

  I blink at Jax, who is smiling smugly, as he climbs into my bed and opens his arms. “Come on. Bring Mark with you. It’ll be a Chunky Monkey sammich.”

  “What is he talking about?” Mark asks with a laugh. “Who is Logan?”

  “His boyfriend,” I reply and crawl under the covers to snuggle up to Jax. “And apparently, you and Logan just laid down the law that we can cuddle, but there will be no more sleeping together.”

  “I like Logan,” Mark replies.

  “I like Logan too,” Jax says. “Say goodnight, Meredith.”

  “Goodnight, Meredith,” Mark says with a laugh.

  “Goodnight, Meredith,” I reply and giggle again. “Love you, handsome.”

  “Love you too,” they both say at the same time.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, baby.” Mark hangs up and I toss my phone to the foot of the bed.

  “So, if Logan is staking a claim on sleeping privileges, he’s definitely your boyfriend.”

  “He wants to invite you and Mark out to dinner with us this weekend.”

  “Wow! Okay! How fun!” I grin and kiss Jax’s cheek. “We’ve never been on a double date before. Show me the picture.”

  He finds a photo on his phone and shows it to me. A smiling, brown-haired man is staring back at me. He has a scruffy face, but it suits him. His teeth are just a bit crooked on the bottom, and his eyes are green and kind. He’s wearing a red beanie and black thick-rimmed glasses.

  “Hello, Mr. Hottie Lovey Pants.”

  “Right?” He takes the phone back and stares at Logan’s photo for a long minute before shutting it down and setting it aside. “He’s seriously hot.”

  “What does he do?”

  “He’s an architect.” His eyes light up with pride as he thinks about Logan. “You should see some of the buildings he’s designed.”

  “He and Mark will have something to talk about.”

  Jax nods and yawns. “I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

  “Why?”

  “Come on, Mer. You know my history with men. It’s not exactly what romance novels are made of.”

  “Me neither,” I reply with a shrug. “But that
doesn’t mean we don’t deserve that. You deserve to be happy with a hot guy who’s kind and loves you.”

  “No one said anything about love,” he replies quickly.

  “Whatever. You know what I mean.”

  He grows quiet, lost in his own thoughts and I leave him be, enjoying this quiet time with him. I admit, I’ve missed him too. I’ve spent every night this week with Mark, and while it’s been pure bliss every night, I can’t forget that my relationship with Jax is important too.

  “I think I’m just going to take things with Logan day by day and see what happens,” Jax finally murmurs.

  “I think that’s a good idea.”

  He nods. It’s hard for Jax to trust, so the fact that he’s willing to try with Logan means the man must be very special.

  “I’m sleepy,” I whisper.

  “I’ll go to bed.” He slips out from under me and kisses my cheek. “I love you, moon pie.”

  “I love you too, best friend.”

  ***

  “You’re trying to kill me.” My chest is heaving as I try to drag air into my lungs, glaring up at Jax from the floor. I’m on my ass after falling during rehearsal.

  “You’re sloppy today,” he replies, his voice hard.

  “I am not. Starla can’t do moves like this, Jax. She’s a singer, not a dancer.”

  “She’ll do it.”

  “I’m telling you, she can’t. I haven’t landed that throw once and we’ve done it two dozen times.”

  “Let’s do it a dozen more.”

  “Fuck you. It’s not your ass that’s getting bruised.” I stand and plant my hands on my hips as I glare at him. This is why he’s the best. He’s so fucking stubborn, he’ll hammer this over and over again until I stick it, just the same way he’ll do with Starla.

  “You’re fine. Let’s do it again.”

  “I need a break.” I walk to the desk and guzzle some water as I check my phone. There’s a text from Mark.

  Can’t meet this morning. Trouble at job site. Will pick you up tonight.

  Great. I’m already in a pissy mood, and I was looking forward to seeing Mark. I saw him twenty-four hours ago, but I miss him.

  I’m pathetic.

  “Problem?”

  “Yeah, my ass hurts.” I scowl at Jax and type a message to Mark.

  No worries. See you later.

  “God you’re whiny today,” Jax says and resets the music. “Let’s do this.”

  We move through the routine again. It’s an excellent routine. Fun to dance, but when we get to the lift and the throw, I fall again.

  “Mother fucker!” I yell and pound the floor with my fist.

  “Okay, you’re overthinking it. Let’s run through it one more time without the lift and call it good.”

  I nod and take a deep breath, then dance the routine with Jax, satisfied that besides that evil lift, we’re ready for LA next week.

  When we’re done, there’s a knock on the glass door. I whip around, hopeful that it’s Mark, but it’s Nic, Matt Montgomery’s girlfriend, standing at the door with a wide smile. I jog over and open the door.

  “That was amazing,” she says and steps inside. “I was at a Starla concert a couple years ago and remember seeing you guys.”

  “Thanks,” I reply and glance down at the white box with red bow in her hands. “What can we do for you?”

  “Oh! Mark called me this morning and said that he was supposed to bring you coffee but he can’t make it, so he asked if I’d bring you some cupcakes instead. I own Succulent Sweets, the bakery just a few blocks over.”

  “I’m in love with you,” Jax informs her and takes the box from her hands. “Of course, these will go straight to my hips.”

  “Whatever.” I wave him off and roll my eyes. “He never gains a pound. This is Jax, my partner.”

  “Nic,” she says and shakes his hand. “Jules was right. You are hot.”

  “I love Jules already,” Jax says with a wink and salivates over the cupcakes. “There are some with M&M’s on them!”

  “Yeah, Mark asked me to make those today’s special.” She rubs her hands on her thighs as if she’s nervous of what we’ll think of them. “Jax is going to be a great addition to girls night out,” Nic says with a laugh. “I have to get back to the shop. Oh! Mark included a card.” She pulls a white envelope out of her back pocket. “See you soon!”

  She waves and leaves and I open the card.

  M-

  Miss you. Sorry I had to cancel.

  Love,

  M.

  “Oh my God, these are amazing.” Jax hands me a cupcake with M&M’s on the top. I sigh as I glance up at him.

  “Okay, I feel better.”

  “Cupcakes make you feel better?”

  “No, Mark makes me feel better.”

  “You are in trouble, sugar baby.”

  “You have no idea.”

  Chapter Eight

  ~Mark~

  “I’m going to put Keaton down for a nap,” Natalie says and kisses the baby’s head where he’s resting in my arms.

  “He’s fine here¸” I offer, enjoying the feel of the baby in my arms. He’s growing so fast.

  “He’ll sleep longer in his crib, and you guys can talk,” she replies easily and takes the baby from my arms. “Come on, Livie, we’ll put Keaton to bed and I’ll read you a story.”

  “Ferdinand!” Livie exclaims as she holds her mom’s finger and walks with her out of the room.

  “Liv’s on a Ferdinand kick,” Luke informs me. “I think Nat’s going to redecorate her room based on the book.”

  “That’s fascinating,” I reply, ribbing my brother. “What other tid-bits do you have to share?”

  “You’re an ass.” Luke laughs. “This is my life, man. Nap times and fictional bulls and the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen.”

  “Nat’s great,” I reply seriously. “You couldn’t have done better than marrying her.”

  “You’re damn right. If she ever tries to leave me, I’m going with her. This life doesn’t work without her.”

  When his words sink in, I cover my mouth and try not to laugh too loudly, afraid of waking the baby. “’If she ever tries to leave me, I’m going with her.’ That’s awesome.”

  “And completely true.” Luke offers me some pineapple from a bowl, and I take a slice, the juice reminding me of Mer’s pussy.

  God, I fucking love her pussy. So sweet, so addictive.

  “How are things with Meredith?” he asks, as if he can read my mind.

  “Good.” I shrug like it’s no big deal.

  “What’s on your mind?”

  “Nothing.”

  He chews on a slice of pineapple. “You don’t show up at my house in the middle of the afternoon on a Friday for no reason.”

  I chew the pineapple slowly, trying to verbalize the words that keep floating around in the back of my head.

  “Spill it, for fuck’s sake,” Luke says with exasperation.

  “Things with Mer are great…”

  “But?”

  “If something seems too good to be true, it usually is.”

  Luke grows quiet. I glance up to find him watching me thoughtfully with narrowed eyes. “Do you think it’s too good to be true?”

  “I think it’s happening fast, but I can’t seem to slow it down.”

  “You’ve been in love with her since you were sixteen, man.”

  “She’s not the same girl she was when she was sixteen, and I’m not the same either.”

  “So you’re getting to know each other, and learn what’s changed, but at the heart of it, you’re still fundamentally the same people. Trust yourself. Trust your girl.” Luke shrugs as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. “I’m not saying be stupid about it. Keep your eyes and ears open, but you’ve found each other again after more than ten years apart. If it’s what you want, enjoy it.”

  I nod thoughtfully and take another bite of the sweet fruit. “I know you’re right, but I ca
n’t help but wonder when the other shoe is going to drop.”

  “Why does it have to?”

  “It doesn’t it’s just…” I push my hand through my hair and scrub my scalp with my fingertips. “What if something happens, like a job or something that takes her away again?”

  “You still think she’d choose dance over you.”

  Hearing Luke voice my deepest fear makes my mouth go dry. All I can do is jerk one shoulder up in a shrug.

  “Part of learning each other is also learning to trust each other. Only time will do that.”

  “I’m not a patient man.”

  “I don’t know, you’ve been more patient than I would have been.” Luke grins and leans on the counter. “Enjoy her. Bring her for dinner some time. I always liked her.”

  “I like her too,” Nat says as she joins us in the kitchen. “I got to page five in Ferdinand and Livie fell asleep too, so I get to have a grown up conversation now.”

  “How are you, beautiful girl?” I ask and kiss her cheek. Luke’s eyes narrow and I can’t help but sling my arm over her shoulders and grin smugly at him.

  “I’m good,” she says and hugs me around my waist.

  “She likes me more,” I inform Luke.

  “She tolerates you,” he says. “Like we all do.”

  “Pshaw. I’m everyone’s favorite.” I kiss Nat’s head and then back away when Luke growls.

  Even I know where the line is.

  Natalie stands on her tiptoes and kisses Luke, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding on tight. When he comes up for air, she grins and says, “You’re the sexiest man I’ve ever seen.”

  “She’s just saying that.”

  Luke flips me off and kisses his wife, and I’m suddenly aware that with two sleeping kids, this is an opportunity for them to have some time for just them.

  “I’m gonna head out. Mer should be just about ready.”

  “Bring her for dinner next week. Monday?” Nat says.

  “She’ll be in LA early next week,” I reply and ignore the way my stomach clenches with nerves. “Then we have Vegas next weekend.”

  “Well then I’ll get to chat with her in Vegas.”

  “Sounds good. Bye guys.”

  They’re giggling before I even close the front door. They’ve been together for a few years now, and are as much in love today as they were the day they got married.